Vintage legalese
Online registration systems that earnestly remind me to store my passwords “in a safe place” probably put no thought to what I imagine they think is a safe place. They don’t mean a safe deposit box, yet that is what routinely comes to mind after their dusty legalese. I believe they expect me to save my passwords—written in flowing 19th Century calligraphic script—on custom monogrammed notecards neatly filed in a velvet-lined box. Of course I’ve put on my fox-fur stole and sober daytime diamond brooch, taken a hired car down to my bank where I made small talk about the society pages with the dapper, influential bank owner.
As the banker offers me a white-gloved security guard escort down to the deposit boxes where I’ll draw the specific card, I’ll be ready to properly complete my online business.
…All the while hoping that my session doesn’t expire before I get back across town.
