Worst customer service e-mail ever

This documents the *absurd* response I get to e-mailing a customer service address provided in the following help sentence in my banking software:

If you are having problems logging on, please “contact us”:[mailto link] via email.

And here’s the response e-mail:

Dear Valued Member:

This is to acknowledge your recent e-mail. We regret that we are unable to process your request at this time as one of the following item(s) # 1,2,3,5,6 is missing from your communication:

  1. Last 4 digits of your Social Security Number
  2. Loan Number
  3. Loanee Name
  4. Subject Matter
  5. Property Address
  6. Current Mailing Address

Please resubmit your request including the missing item(s) and we will be happy to expedite your request. Current account information can be viewed via our website at [url].

Thank you for giving us an opportunity to be of service to you. Please feel free to contact us at [e-mail address] if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
Member Service Department

I have a few follow up comments: WTF.

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